English Club

[victorian 8 431]

Like this?

The most surprising thing is Molly is total copy!

[Molly Malone 4 448]

The most surprising thing is Molly is total copy!

 

well...i don't usually have such close relations with my pupils, but i'll make an exception for victorian, i like big cats

You'll get a glass of wine milk during each lesson

Изменено 9 сентября, 2011 пользователем Molly Malone

[victorian 8 431]

Meow!

[gimini 19 493]

Ladies and gentlemen, for today we have the following tasks for fun and profit:

 

Two riddles:

 

1. It is greater than God and more evil than the devil. The poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you'll die. What is it?

2. Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long?

 

What film?

 

- Darling, will you marry me at last?

- Well, let me think a little more...

- How long are you going to think? We have known each other for 30 years!

- Well, I don't know. And besides your mother has never liked me!

- Yes, that's true. She has always disliked you. But it doesn't matter. Now she can't see very well.

Hello

 

1. nothing

2. I know the answer (but don't understand humor )

 

I think this film - For family reasons (circumstances?)

[Lady LG 4 159]

A joke from English Club:

 

I've never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

[Lady LG 4 159]

gimini

2. Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long?

I know the answer (but don't understand humor

Would you give us your answer, please?

[Molly Malone 4 448]

Meow! 1bluewinky.gif

 

Murrrr

[Molly Malone 4 448]

Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, come home and expect to be fed and stroked, then want to be left alone and sleep

 

Oh...Lady LG, you've described me, except for "like to stay out all night", i like to sleep in my warm bed.

Am i a cat or a man?

[gimini 19 493]

gimini

2. Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long?

I know the answer (but don't understand humor

Would you give us your answer, please?

Because it would then be a foot.

12 inches = one foot = 30.48 centimeters

[Serdar 2]

And a usual joke from me:

**********************************************************************

One day a company chairman got very angry with his board of directors.

He looked at them: “Gentlemen, I have something I must say: half of you are idiots.”

One of the directors stood up and banged on the table,

“I demand that you withdraw you last words, Mr Chairman.”

“Very well,” the chairman said, “I withdraw them – half of you are not idiots.”

 

board of directors – совет директоров, правление

**********************************************************************

 

Have fun! See you!

"Раньше у нас одна половина страны работала, а другая нет. А теперь все наооборот" Черномырдин В.С.

Изменено 9 сентября, 2011 пользователем Serdar

[Lady LG 4 159]

Molly Malone

In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat.

I didn't describe you. You are not a man, Molly. You're a pretty young lady.

 

A joke from English Club:

 

One day a man saw his neighbour digging a big hole in his back garden.

“What are you doing?” he wondered.

“My goldfish died and I’m going to bury it.”

The man was surprised: “But that hole is too big for a goldfish!”

“That’s because it’s inside your disgusting cat.”

[Lady LG 4 159]

"Раньше у нас одна половина страны работала, а другая нет. А теперь все наооборот" Черномырдин В.С.

 

Office workers! Always go to the toilet at work!

Not only will you save money on toilet paper, but you will also be paid for it.

[Lady LG 4 159]

gimini

Why isn’t your nose 12 inches long?

Because it would then be a foot. 12 inches = one foot = 30.48 centimeters

Yes, gimini, but you didn't explain the answer. It's a play on words.

The word "foot" has two meanings:

1. фут - англ. единица длины= 30 см

2. нога (ступня)

[Serdar 2]

The text below contains a mistake where a word has an EXTRA LETTER. For example, if the word should be NOT it is printed as NOTE.

 

COMETO SUNNY MAJORCA

Majorca is the largest of the Balearic Islands, which live close to the south-east coast of Spain. The island's many fine beaches and its exciting night-life have made it one of the most popular holiday resorts in the world.

I guess instead of word 'many' should use word 'any'.

[Lady LG 4 159]

Serdar

 

Unfortunately you're mistaken. Reread this line, please.

Majorca is the largest of the Balearic Islands, which live close to the south-east coast of Spain.

 

See you!