English Club

[Lady LG 4 159]

gimini and Serdar!

Do you say "Nine and five IS thirteen" or "Nine and five ARE thirteen"?

 

I think this riddle with the catch, possible there are both answers. (Serdar)

I say nine and five are fourteen (gimini)

The correct answer is: Neither. Nine and five IS fourteen. We say IS, not ARE because we think of a "sum" as one thing. Some more examples:

"Two years IS a long time..." (a period of time)

"Ten thousand dollars WAS stolen...." (a sum of money)

 

Well, ladies and gentlemen, what do we have for today?

 

1. Molly's riddle: "What kind of animals can jump higher than a house?"

I know the answer, I've met it before.

 

2. A new one: "The poor have two, the rich have none, millions have many, you have one. What is it?

 

3. And as usual, a misprint for Serdar and everyone:

 

The text below contains a mistake where ONE letter IS MISSED.

For example, If the word should be BOX it is printed as OX.

 

"Wilson Wynott, the director of the Ford car company, had a heart attack yesterday. He is now in hospital but doctors think that he will return to work next week. Thousands of Ford workers have sent get-well cars to their boss."

 

Good luck and have fun!

 

Back soon.

Изменено 2 июня, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[Lady LG 4 159]

PART II

 

It so happened that the next day an American called Jack arrived in Pushkino. He was a tipical Yankee, tall, strong, easygoing and impudent. He wanted to meet the girl here, he had known her only through internet for two years and never met really. And the first date, in the square. To be honest he had a girlfriend in New York city, this Jane, afro-american, 120 kilos, well you can imagine but now...well. He was so excited and these butterflies fluttered in his stomach. She came nearly on time, just 2 hours late. And she was a breathtaking creature! Slim blondy with deep blue eyes lady.gif He was shocked and fell in love at once. Oh these Russian girls, it`s something mysterious and crazy... The girl whose name was Natasha Skovorodkina lived in a big block of flats in the centre of Pushkino.

 

- Hi babe! - he said - let`s go to your place!

- Oh, no way! - she blushed - there is a park near here and we can just go for a walk for a while.

- All right - he sighed. - So, sweety, be my guide. Show me the loveliest places of interest in Pushkino,- he told her.

- All right, but first of all let's eat something. I know a place where Shaurma is sold. Have you ever tasted our russian shaurma cooked by the caring hands of boys from sunny tadzhikistan? She smiled and touched his hand gently.

 

Five minutes later Natasha and the young American were walking hand in hand towards Sovetskaya Square.

 

- Well, would you like to go to the cinema? - she asked him.

- Oh, it would be great! But I don`t understand Russian.

- Hmm... Never mind - she whispered and glanced at him.

- How stupid I`m - he thought.

 

The film was quite boring but he didn`t look at the screen, as a matter of fact he didn`t see anything at all. It was dark there and she smelled so sweet and her hair tickled his face.

 

"There's no one like Russian girls," Jack thought. "They're so pretty and modest. And besides, everybody says they're very good at housework. If I marry her, I'll dismiss my housemaid at once and save a lot of money! And if she's good at cooking (I'm sure she is!), I'll dismiss my cook. And if she's fond of gardening, I'll dismiss my gardener. And if we have a baby, I won't have to find a nurse. Besides, Natasha is slim. It means she doesn't eat much. And if she wants to have some pocket money, she can work as a cleaner in the nearest cafe in her free time, at night or early in the morning."

 

When they left the cinema Jack said,"I`ve composed a poem for you" "Oh, really!?" she exclaimed. "Listen:"

 

In this Russian land,

I`ve found a nice girlfriend,

Imagine how, where,

I`ll touch this blondy hair,

Australia? No, Russia,

My beautiful Natasha!

And sure, babe, I bet,

I`ll be cowboy in bed.

 

Natasha was so happy to hear these words that she put her arms round Jack's neck and gave him a kiss. "Yes," Jack thought. "This girl is a real treasure!" "Will you marry me?" he asked. Natasha blushed.

 

"Oh my hero! Sure I agree to be with you forever! And it goes without saying we`ll live here in Pushkino so please buy a townhouse in the center, well, not very big, I suppose about 7-8 rooms and a villa in the West side. Well,... you know I hate cooking, gardening, cleaning and all these stuff and nonsense, so please hire some servants, not many 10-15 people. Oh, I`ve almost forgotten, Ferrary for me. I adore you, my honey!"

 

Hearing this he felt the cold sweat running down his back… His armpits were sweating too. In fact, he was sweating like a pig. But the more he looked at her tits, the weaker he became… She slightly licked her upper lip with the tip of her pink tongue. He couldn’t help it. - Yes, everything for you, my queen, - he muttered.

 

(Molly, your description of Jack's feelings on hearing Natasha's words is really marvellous! You're very imaginative...)

 

PART III

 

And now I think it's time to tell you the truth. As a matter of fact, Jack was very lazy and greedy. He wasn't clever either but he was a tall handsome fellow and had great success with girls. Though Jack was nearly 25 he didn't work at all. He wasn't going to study and make his carrier. The young man lived with his elderly father who worked hard from morning till late at night and paid all Jack's bills.

 

Molly, victorian, we're writing PART III

 

Back later. See you.

Изменено 2 июня, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[victorian 8 436]

Molly Malone

Great!

[Serdar 2]

The text below contains a mistake where ONE letter IS MISSED.

For example, If the word should be BOX it is printed as OX.

 

"Wilson Wynott, the director of the Ford car company, had a heart attack yesterday. He is now in hospital but doctors think that he will return to work next week. Thousands of Ford workers have sent get-well cars to their boss."

Word "cars" is needed in the letter "d". My answer is "cards".

[Lady LG 4 159]

Word "cars" is needed in the letter "d". My answer is "cards".

Serdar, you had better say: "The letter 'd' is missed in the word "cars" or "THE WORD "CARS" IS WRONG. IT SHOULD BE "CARDS", that's all.

Thousands of Ford workers have sent get-well cards to their boss."

 

Anyway, your answer is correct again! You've found 6 misprints out of 8! Just a moment, I'll look for a more difficult one for you and everybody... Oh, here it is:

 

The text below contains a mistake where ONE LETTER in a word IS WRONG. For example, if the word should be CAT it is printed as CAB.

 

She: - How many times a day do you shave?

He: - Oh, forty or fifty times.

She: - Are you sad?

He: - No, I'm a barber.

 

Good luck and have fun! Bye!

[Serdar 2]

I'm ready to answer .

[Lady LG 4 159]

I'm ready to answer smile.gif.

What a good boy! And what are you waiting for? Answer, please, and you'll get something interesting again, I promise!

 

So long! See you soon!

Изменено 3 июня, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[Molly Malone 4 452]

And now I think it's time to tell you the truth. As a matter of fact, Jack was very lazy and greedy. He wasn't clever either but he was a tall handsome fellow and had great success with girls. Though Jack was nearly 25 he didn't work at all. He wasn't going to study and make his carrier. The young man lived with his elderly father who worked hard from morning till late at night and paid all Jack's bills.

 

Well well well, Natasha had some skeletons in the wardrobe, too.

Actually, she wasn’t as plain as one may think. She had loads of boyfriends in internet besides him. “Odnoklassniki.ru” to be precise… She had Hans from Germany nicknamed “Deine Scharfe Deutsche Wurst” (Your hot german sausage), Mario from Italy also known as “Horny Makaroni”, Andreas from Turkey “Turkish Delight”, John from Great Britain “Very Big Ben” and even a guy from Russia from Otradnoe, Vasya, nicknamed “Vasya”.

Jack from the USA was the first to visit her in Pushkino, but she didn’t know that ….

Изменено 3 июня, 2011 пользователем Molly Malone

[Lady LG 4 159]

PART III

 

And now I think it's time to tell you the truth. As a matter of fact, Jack was very lazy and greedy. He wasn't clever either but he was a tall handsome fellow and had great success with girls. Though Jack was nearly 25 he didn't work at all. He wasn't going to study and make his carrier. The young man lived with his elderly father who worked hard from morning till late at night and paid all Jack's bills.

 

Well well well, Natasha had some skeletons in the wardrobe, too. Actually, she wasn’t as plain as one may think. She had loads of boyfriends in internet besides him. “Odnoklassniki.ru” to be precise… She had Hans from Germany nicknamed “Deine Scharfe Deutsche Wurst” (Your hot german sausage), Mario from Italy also known as “Horny Makaroni”, Andreas from Turkey “Turkish Delight”, John from Great Britain “Very Big Ben” and even a guy from Russia from Otradnoe, Vasya, nicknamed “Vasya”. Jack from the USA was the first to visit her in Pushkino, but she didn’t know that ….

...Vasya from Otradnoe was on his way to her place too. Natasha and Vasya had been pen friends for a long time. They had never met before but they often had long talks on the phone.

 

Back soon. !

Изменено 3 июня, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[Serdar 2]

The text below contains a mistake where ONE LETTER in a word IS WRONG. For example, if the word should be CAT it is printed as CAB.

 

She: - How many times a day do you shave?

He: - Oh, forty or fifty times.

She: - Are you sad?

He: - No, I'm a barber.

I think the word 'sad' is wrong. My answer is the word 'mad'.

 

Will it be correct if i use the word 'methinks' instead of 'i think' ?

Изменено 3 июня, 2011 пользователем Serdar

[Lady LG 4 159]

I think the word 'sad' is wrong. My answer is the word 'mad'.

Your English is getting better, Serdar, and your answer is right again!

You've found 7 misprints out of 9 and guessed some riddles!

 

As I promised, here's one more misprint for you and everyone:

 

The text below contains a mistake where ONE LETTER in a word IS WRONG. For example, if the word should be CAT it is printed as CAB.

 

"Two minutes from the end of the match Edwards scored his first goal for his country. The tall blind player from Swansea, playing in only his second game for Wales, went past three English players before putting the ball past the goalkeeper into the net",

 

and there're 2 riddles left (see my post 2.06 13.49)

 

Will it be correct if i use the word 'methinks' instead of 'i think' ?

No, Serdar, never! You should say "I think...... I suppose..... I expect.... I guess..."

 

Have a nice weekend, everybody! See you!

[Serdar 2]

1. Molly's riddle: "What kind of animals can jump higher than a house?"

 

I guess this is dolphin.

[victorian 8 436]

PART III

 

And now I think it's time to tell you the truth. As a matter of fact, Jack was very lazy and greedy. He wasn't clever either but he was a tall handsome fellow and had great success with girls. Though Jack was nearly 25 he didn't work at all. He wasn't going to study and make his carrier. The young man lived with his elderly father who worked hard from morning till late at night and paid all Jack's bills.

 

Well well well, Natasha had some skeletons in the wardrobe, too. Actually, she wasn’t as plain as one may think. She had loads of boyfriends in internet besides him. “Odnoklassniki.ru” to be precise… She had Hans from Germany nicknamed “Deine Scharfe Deutsche Wurst” (Your hot german sausage), Mario from Italy also known as “Horny Makaroni”, Andreas from Turkey “Turkish Delight”, John from Great Britain “Very Big Ben” and even a guy from Russia from Otradnoe, Vasya, nicknamed “Vasya”. Jack from the USA was the first to visit her in Pushkino, but she didn’t know that ….

 

...Vasya from Otradnoe was on his way to her place too. Natasha and Vasya had been pen friends for a long time. They had never met before but they often had long talks on the phone. mobile.gif

This date with Vasya was quite good, I would even say hot. "Vasya-Vasilek, how wonderful you are!" she thought. "Would you like one more cocktail, honey?" she asked him. "OK" Vasya said, stretching himself and relaxing in the bed, " and come to me, my kitty". It was dark in bedroom and quiet musik was so nice.

"It`s not a problem, Jack will be my husband and Vasya - lover", Natasha thought. "Oh life is so wonderful!".

[Molly Malone 4 452]

1. Molly's riddle: "What kind of animals can jump higher than a house?"

 

I guess this is dolphin.

 

No, dear Serdar, it's not a dolphin.

Any animal can jump higher than a house because houses can't jump

 

A joke from me for everyone:

– Hasn’t Harvey ever married?

- No, and I don’t think he intends to, because he’s studying for a bachelor’s degree...

[Molly Malone 4 452]

This date with Vasya was quite good, I would even say hot. "Vasya-Vasilek, how wonderful you are!" she thought. "Would you like one more cocktail, honey?" she asked him. "OK" Vasya said, stretching himself and relaxing in the bed, " and come to me, my kitty". It was dark in bedroom and quiet musik was so nice. "It`s not a problem, Jack will be my husband and Vasya - lover", Natasha thought. "Oh life is so wonderful!".

 

I wonder where poor Jack was at the time of the date…

Oh, I know. When Vasya (95 kg, tall, hairy) arrived, Natasha gave him two Jaguar cocktails and hid him on the balcony. And Americans aren’t used to drinking Jaguar, so very soon Jack was drunk and pleased…