English Club

[MSC 2 637]

I do not trust them. They can only dig holes properly. They'll ruin my lawn and flowers  

 

 

Molly, go to Ibiza! if this man grants you a tour to Ibiza, don't hesitate, just go and enjoy! You will revive your lawn and flowers afterwards, I'm ready to help (whispering) and we can recruit Victorian as well, instead of 2 Tajiks

[victorian 8 435]

www

Изменено 17 мая, 2014 пользователем victorian

[MSC 2 637]

www

 

Victorian! with all my respect! 

 

Today I showed this picture to my husband and he said: "would be the best choice, darling! Why are you still concentrated on all those car-stuff?"

[victorian 8 435]

Hello!

One friend of mine wrote this poem:

 

Standing here on naked ground

breathing deep to wake my feel

trying hear this beauty sound

making me such  pure and real

breathing in and touch the silence

breathing out and clean my mind

make it deep and catch a timeless

lose myself somewhere inside

[Lady LG 4 159]

Dear victorian!

 

I'm sending you lots of warm wishes on your birthday: health, joy, peace and stability in your life, friendship to brighten your being, rainbows to follow the clouds,

beauty for your eyes to see, love to warm your heart! May this birthday bring you all you ever longed for! It's a pleasure to have you as my friend!

 

Many happy returns of the day! Happy birthday and have a great year ahead!

 

 

 

 

[victorian 8 435]

@Lady LG,

Thank you so much!

[Molly Malone 4 448]

Victorian, You are the coolest of the cool!

Happy Birthday!    

[MSC 2 637]

Victorian, Happy Birthday! and my best wishes to you

[victorian 8 435]

@Molly Malone,@MSC,

Thank you so much!

[Гуннхильд 12 970]

It may be a corny joke, but I'm a novice here.

As for me, this verse is too long. However some parts are rather curious

 

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

 

Dearest creature in creation,

Study English pronunciation.

I will teach you in my verse

Sounds like corpse, corps, horse, and worse.

I will keep you, Suzy, busy,

Make your head with heat grow dizzy.

Tear in eye, your dress will tear.

So shall I! Oh hear my prayer.

Just compare heart, beard, and heard,

Dies and diet, lord and word,

Sword and sward, retain and Britain.

(Mind the latter, how it’s written.)

Now I surely will not plague you

With such words as plaque and ague.

But be careful how you speak:

Say break and steak, but bleak and streak;

Cloven, oven, how and low,

Script, receipt, show, poem, and toe.

Hear me say, devoid of trickery,

Daughter, laughter, and Terpsichore,

Typhoid, measles, topsails, aisles,

Exiles, similes, and reviles;

Scholar, vicar, and cigar,

Solar, mica, war and far;

One, anemone, Balmoral,

Kitchen, lichen, laundry, laurel;

Gertrude, German, wind and mind,

Scene, Melpomene, mankind.

Billet does not rhyme with ballet,

Bouquet, wallet, mallet, chalet.

Blood and flood are not like food,

Nor is mould like should and would.

Viscous, viscount, load and broad,

Toward, to forward, to reward.

And your pronunciation’s OK

When you correctly say croquet,

Rounded, wounded, grieve and sieve,

Friend and fiend, alive and live.

Ivy, privy, famous; clamour

And enamour rhyme with hammer.

River, rival, tomb, bomb, comb,

Doll and roll and some and home.

Stranger does not rhyme with anger,

Neither does devour with clangour.

Souls but foul, haunt but aunt,

Font, front, wont, want, grand, and grant,

Shoes, goes, does. Now first say finger,

And then singer, ginger, linger,

Real, zeal, mauve, gauze, gouge and gauge,

Marriage, foliage, mirage, and age.

Query does not rhyme with very,

Nor does fury sound like bury.

Dost, lost, post and doth, cloth, loth.

Job, nob, bosom, transom, oath.

Though the differences seem little,

We say actual but victual.

Refer does not rhyme with deafer.

Fe0ffer does, and zephyr, heifer.

Mint, pint, senate and sedate;

Dull, bull, and George ate late.

Scenic, Arabic, Pacific,

Science, conscience, scientific.

Liberty, library, heave and heaven,

Rachel, ache, moustache, eleven.

We say hallowed, but allowed,

People, leopard, towed, but vowed.

Mark the differences, moreover,

Between mover, cover, clover;

Leeches, breeches, wise, precise,

Chalice, but police and lice;

Camel, constable, unstable,

Principle, disciple, label.

Petal, panel, and canal,

Wait, surprise, plait, promise, pal.

Worm and storm, chaise, chaos, chair,

Senator, spectator, mayor.

Tour, but our and succour, four.

Gas, alas, and Arkansas.

Sea, idea, Korea, area,

Psalm, Maria, but malaria.

Youth, south, southern, cleanse and clean.

Doctrine, turpentine, marine.

Compare alien with Italian,

Dandelion and battalion.

Sally with ally, yea, ye,

Eye, I, ay, aye, whey, and key.

Say aver, but ever, fever,

Neither, leisure, skein, deceiver.

Heron, granary, canary.

Crevice and device and aerie.

Face, but preface, not efface.

Phlegm, phlegmatic, ass, glass, bass.

Large, but target, gin, give, verging,

Ought, out, joust and scour, scourging.

Ear, but earn and wear and tear

Do not rhyme with here but ere.

Seven is right, but so is even,

Hyphen, roughen, nephew Stephen,

Monkey, donkey, Turk and jerk,

Ask, grasp, wasp, and cork and work.

Pronunciation (think of Psyche!)

Is a paling stout and spikey?

Won’t it make you lose your wits,

Writing groats and saying grits?

It’s a dark abyss or tunnel:

Strewn with stones, stowed, solace, gunwale,

Islington and Isle of Wight,

Housewife, verdict and indict.

Finally, which rhymes with enough,

Though, through, plough, or dough, or cough?

Hiccough has the sound of cup.

My advice is to give up!!!

 

English Pronunciation by G. Nolst Trenité

 

[Lady LG 4 159]

Hello, @Гуннхильд,! Glad to meet you!

 

Thank you for the poem! I liked it, but to tell the truth, I doubt if I'm able to pronounce every word of it correctly...

There're a lot of poems like that in the English language, for example, this one: "When the English tongue we speak..." It's much easier. Have you read it?

435388.html

 

[MSC 2 637]

 

 

If you can pronounce correctly every word in this poem, you will be speaking English better than 90% of the native English speakers in the world.

 

 

 After the test my British friend (110% native UK) told me she is not British obviously

[victorian 8 435]

Just for fun:

 

 A guy came into a bar one day and said to the barman "Give me six double vodka." The barman says "Wow! you must have had one really bad day." "Yes, I've just found out my older brother is gay." The next day the same guy came into the bar and asked for the same drinks. When the bartender asked what the problem was today the answer came back, "I've just found out that my younger brother is gay too!" On the third day the guy came into the bar and ordered another six double vodkas. The bartender said "WOW! Doesn't anybody in your family like women?" "Yeah, my wife..."

[Lady LG 4 159]

Hello,@victorian, how are you? I'm fine because I'm not working, I'm on holiday! It's so nice!

Have you been on holiday this year? Are you going anywhere?

Изменено 28 июля, 2014 пользователем Lady LG

[victorian 8 435]

Hello Lady LG! I`m fine! You are right, Summer is so nice season really!

 

 

Are you going anywhere?

Yes I`m going to Molly`s garden. I`m sure there are a lot of perfect fruits and vegetables there and moreover:

1) It is absolutely free

2) Molly will be glad to meet me and just present all these tasty stuff for me

Now I`m looking for big boxes and a truck so that  to transport this delicious harvest to my place.