English Club

[Далекая Луна 69]

Did you really gather on that friday?

No, but I realy had strong intention to meet. Noone had come.

[slonyarka 3 842]

We all waited when somebody call and meet us )

[John 1 630]

So, who's gonna be the organizer?

[Далекая Луна 69]

John?

[Dodgy Banana 5 488]

Sorry for interrupting your discussion, but this story is too good to be hidden from you. I hope it'll make you smile.

 

BOY ASKS:

"Daddy, how was I born?"

DAD SAYS:

"Ah, my son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Well,you see your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on MSN. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Popup appeared and said: You"ve Got Male!"

[slonyarka 3 842]

)

In the past they said: "The stork has brought you". Now they say: "Yandex uploaded you".

[victorian 8 435]

By the way there is real English Club in Moscow - MECC (Moscow English Conversation Club). This Club is set up specially to practise speaking english.

Anybody can visit this place, there are a lot of native speakers there, people from the USA, England, Australia and so on. So you have chance to conversate with them without problem about any topic. It`s quite interesting some times.

English of russian visitors is from beginners to advanced. I have been visiting this club for about two years so recommend you.

It`s located in " Чеховский культурный центр", near metro station "Чеховская".

[Balez 5]

This is for those who like puzzles that require lateral thinking and a high level of intelligence...

 

Scenario:

 

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

 

On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

 

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

 

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.

 

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

[CHEKIST 402]

Тема была перемещена.

 

Olechka

 

Друзья, посоветуйте, если кто знает, хороший и эффективный вариант изучения английского языка в Пушкино. Должны ведь быть курсы? Может у кого-то был опыт? Для школьника. Репетиторов не предлагать.

 

Напоминаю: все вопросы, связанные с изучением английского языка обсуждаются в этой теме.

Посоветуйте какие-нибудь курсы по изучению английского языка в Пушкино!

А вот еще мучает вопрос,какова эфективнось самостоятельного изучения по всяким там самоучителям и аудио-записям??????????

[Papa 119]

This is for those who like puzzles that require lateral thinking and a high level of intelligence...

 

Scenario:

 

You are driving in a car at a constant speed.

 

On your left side is a valley and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you.

 

In front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

 

Both the giant pig and the helicopter are also traveling at the same speed as you.

 

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

LOL

 

no more drugs motherfucker

and get down from KARUSEL'

 

or something like that

[Далекая Луна 69]

What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?

wake up

 

immediately

[Jeka 51]

Matawasha

 

Russian boyan.

[Roy 5 537]

Тема была перемещена.

 

Olechka

 

Друзья, посоветуйте, если кто знает, хороший и эффективный вариант изучения английского языка в Пушкино. Должны ведь быть курсы? Может у кого-то был опыт? Для школьника. Репетиторов не предлагать.

 

Напоминаю: все вопросы, связанные с изучением английского языка обсуждаются в этой теме.

Посоветуйте какие-нибудь курсы по изучению английского языка в Пушкино!

А вот еще мучает вопрос,какова эфективнось самостоятельного изучения по всяким там самоучителям и аудио-записям?????????? :136:

Могу сказать по-собственному опыту. Первый раз за серьезное изучение английского взялся в 98, когда была возможность поехать в командировку. Ходил на курсы LL, не знаю, остались такие еще или нет. Сам я к языкам абсолютно не способен. Но там научился.

К 2002 забыл нафиг. Как раз решил увольняться и устраиваться в буржуйскую компанию. Требования были: уметь говорить на технические темы, в том числе по телефону, поддерживать переписку и писать доки. На курсы я не пошел, купил Игнатову "Английский для какого-то там общения", достал Мерфи и начал делать упражнения, начал читать художественную литературу и смотреть фильмы в оригинале. Все заняло около двух месяцев.

Собеседование прошел. Сейчас, спустя пять лет, на слух английскую речь, особенно в исполнении китайцев воспринимаю с большим трудом, стараюсь отмазываться от всяких переговоров. Со всем остальным проблем нет. Правда на работе у нас бесплатные курсы английского, но я на них не хожу - лучше домой пораньше приеду :-)

 

P.S.

А вот, супружница, не смотря на длительное отсутствие практики английский знает лучше меня. Так что все индивидуально :-)

 

P.P.S.

А вот еще, одно время продавался в киосках журнал с кассетой Speak English. Кстати, весьма полезный, особенно при общении с "носителями", уж чего они там носят я не знаю, но говорят так, как будто полный рот г..на набрали :-)

[Roy 5 537]

Кстати, совет в догонку. Если вам придется общаться с кустомерами из числа китайцев, забудьте про should, если рука поднимается написать "you should" пишите "you must", иначе эти "неполиткорректное выражение" будут следовать своей китайской фантазии а не мануалу.

 

P.S.

С индусами сложнее. Только если с применением русского мата.

[victorian 8 435]

Are You A Real Man?

 

Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth.

 

You decide to:

- Present it to the President of the United States.

- Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.

- Take it apart.

 

 

 

As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

- Innocence

- Idealism

- Cherry bombs

 

 

 

When is it okay to kiss another male?

- When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.

- When he is the Pope. (Not on the lips.)

- When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

 

 

 

In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

- A cat.

- A dog.

- A dog that eats cats.

 

 

 

You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy. You're watching a football game; she's reading the papers when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?

- That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.

- That although you also have strong feelings for her, you can not honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.

- That you cannot believe the Broncos called a drawplay on third and seventeen.

 

 

 

Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her, sharing the joys and the sorrows the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

- You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.

- You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing through her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.

- Tell her what?

 

 

 

One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:

- "Do they need to eat or anything?"

- "They're in school already?"

- "There are three of them?"

 

 

 

When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

- When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.

- When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.

- It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife is quietly trying to discard his underwear (which she is frankly jealous of because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her).

 

 

 

What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

- He was being tested.

- He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.

- He refused to ask for directions.

 

 

 

What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

- Democracy.

- Religion.

- Remote control.