English Club

[Lady LG 4 159]

"Well, let's go to the editorial office and put an advertisement in Pushkinski Vestnik", Natasha offered. "But first you should make it up. Here's a pen and some paper. Get to work, darling and I'll go to the kitchen and cook some pelmeni. You enjoy eating delicious pelmeni with sour cream, don't you, my chick?"

 

Half an hour later Natasha returned to the living-room. Jack was lying on the sofa with a bottle of beer in his hand and watching "You Just Wait", the famous old Russian cartoon about a bad wolf and a clever hare. The girl took a sheet of paper from the table and began reading... Oh, dear! Natasha wasn't very good at English but even she got horrified. Jack's handwriting was unreadable and the text was full of bad grammar and spelling mistakes. He couldn't even write the word "school" properly, he wrote "skul". "Did you go to school, Jack?" she asked. "And what was your mark in English, I wonder?" Jack's face turned as red as beetroot.

"To tell the truth, honey..." he began, "I was not the first student in my school, but it doesn`t matter! For example when I read this russian forum I see a lot of terrible mistakes and all users are native speakers, aren`t they?. So don`t worry my darling!".

"Oh you are so cute", Natasha babbled. "Well it`s business and I`m going to make it in american way. I know how it is".

Soon astonishing things started to happen in Pushkino. Huge billboards were everywhere - " Come to Jack`s school and you will be happy!". All local newspapers were full with this ad. Hundreds boys and girls in bright t-shirts stood in all streets and handed out the special flyers. The huge balloon hung above town and big letters shone in the sky - "Did you join Jack`s school?". Every evening great and noisy conсerts were arranged near Pobeda cinema where Alla Pugacheva, Phil Kirkorov, Nadya Babkina and others singers sang songs about Jack`s school.

- And now let’s think about the premises where the school is to be situated. Do you have any ideas, Natasha? - I think I do know. Our school is going to be a competitor of tents with beer. - How is that? - Wait and see. And two weeks later the big empty shop to the right of the Pobeda (the one that used to be “Hoztovary” and that had been closed for many years already) turned into a school. (However, from Molly’s point of view, it has to be a Macdonalds…Sorry, I am hungry, dying for a Big Mac) - So, who is going to be a headmaster? - Well…I have a crazy idea. I know one person in Pushkino. Let it be…… 

...Molly Malone. I've known her since we went to school together. She speaks English fluently and her pronunciation is perfect. Just a moment, I'll look for her phone number... Oh, here it is. But remember, Jack, Molly is pretty and young and if you ever... "

"Oh, no!" Jack interrupted, "There're no other girls in the world, only you..."

[Molly Malone 4 452]

...Molly Malone. I've known her since we went to school together. She speaks English fluently and her pronunciation is perfect. Just a moment, I'll look for her phone number... Oh, here it is. But remember, Jack, Molly is pretty and young and if you ever... " "Oh, no!" Jack interrupted, "There're no other girls in the world, only you..."

 

 

[Molly Malone 4 452]

1. Women are more romantic than men. 2. Women fall in love faster than men do. 3. Women tend to suffer more from a breakup than men do. 4. When in love, women tend to reveal more of their feelings than men do. 5. Women fall out of love slower than men. 6. Women suffer from depression more often than men do. 7. The rate of suicide is higher among women than among men. 8. Women are shier than men. 9. Women daydream more often than men. 10. If a woman is exercised as often and with as much intensity as a man, she would develop muscle strength equal to that of a man.

1. true

2. true

3. false

4. true

5. false

6. false

7. false

8. false

9. true

10. false

[Dinka 75]

Dear friends, my answers (tasks from June 26)

1. wet tree

3. tablets. T was missed

4. I couln't fold a sheet of paper A4 more than 7 times. And what about you?

[victorian 8 436]

"Well, let's go to the editorial office and put an advertisement in Pushkinski Vestnik", Natasha offered. "But first you should make it up. Here's a pen and some paper. Get to work, darling and I'll go to the kitchen and cook some pelmeni. You enjoy eating delicious pelmeni with sour cream, don't you, my chick?"

 

Half an hour later Natasha returned to the living-room. Jack was lying on the sofa with a bottle of beer in his hand and watching "You Just Wait", the famous old Russian cartoon about a bad wolf and a clever hare. The girl took a sheet of paper from the table and began reading... Oh, dear! Natasha wasn't very good at English but even she got horrified. Jack's handwriting was unreadable and the text was full of bad grammar and spelling mistakes. He couldn't even write the word "school" properly, he wrote "skul". "Did you go to school, Jack?" she asked. "And what was your mark in English, I wonder?" Jack's face turned as red as beetroot. "To tell the truth, honey..." he began, "I was not the first student in my school, but it doesn`t matter! For example when I read this russian forum I see a lot of terrible mistakes and all users are native speakers, aren`t they?. So don`t worry my darling!". "Oh you are so cute", Natasha babbled. "Well it`s business and I`m going to make it in american way. I know how it is". Soon astonishing things started to happen in Pushkino. Huge billboards were everywhere - " Come to Jack`s school and you will be happy!". All local newspapers were full with this ad. Hundreds boys and girls in bright t-shirts stood in all streets and handed out the special flyers. The huge balloon hung above town and big letters shone in the sky - "Did you join Jack`s school?". Every evening great and noisy conсerts were arranged near Pobeda cinema where Alla Pugacheva, Phil Kirkorov, Nadya Babkina and others singers sang songs about Jack`s school. - And now let’s think about the premises where the school is to be situated. Do you have any ideas, Natasha? - I think I do know. Our school is going to be a competitor of tents with beer. - How is that? - Wait and see. And two weeks later the big empty shop to the right of the Pobeda (the one that used to be “Hoztovary” and that had been closed for many years already) turned into a school. (However, from Molly’s point of view, it has to be a Macdonalds…Sorry, I am hungry, dying for a Big Mac) - So, who is going to be a headmaster? - Well…I have a crazy idea. I know one person in Pushkino. Let it be……

 

...Molly Malone. I've known her since we went to school together. She speaks English fluently and her pronunciation is perfect. Just a moment, I'll look for her phone number... Oh, here it is. But remember, Jack, Molly is pretty and young and if you ever... " "Oh, no!" Jack interrupted, "There're no other girls in the world, only you..."

 

 

" only you... but look, I`m going to business trip soon, to Canary Islands for 1-2 weeks and Molly as a headmaster must accompany me, it`s her responsibility. Do you agree, Molly-Dolly? It`s just business, I assure you" - Jack said

Изменено 27 июня, 2011 пользователем victorian

[Molly Malone 4 452]

" only you... but look, I`m going to business trip soon, to Canary Islands for 1-2 weeks and Molly as a headmaster must accompany me, it`s her responsibility. Do you agree, Molly-Dolly? It`s just business, I assure you" - Jack said

 

- I know what kind of business you mean! – Natasha yelled. – If only you dare!

Jack sighed. He was already getting tired of Natasha.

 

The first day at school.

Imagine a novel of Dickens, David Copperfield or Nikolas Nickelby. A dark room. Newborn pupils are sitting there not daring to move. The headmaster enters.

- Hello, my dear kittens. (smiling like a Cheshire cat)

- Hello, headmaster! (unanimously)

- I would like all of you to learn some rules before we start. (lifting her right eyebrow)

- Yes, headmaster!

- Firstly, you must always do what the teacher tells you or else you’ll never learn. Clear?

- Yes! (beginning to get excited)

- Secondly, the one who doesn’t learn the new English words will be whipped. (this already sounds like Julia Timoshenko)

- Oh yes,headmaster!

- Thirdly, the one who won’t bring me his most favourite English quotations tomorrow will be expelled.

- Jawohl, Meister!

 

And what are your favourite quotations, Lady LG, Samira, Victorian, Serdar and others?

Изменено 27 июня, 2011 пользователем Molly Malone

[Lady LG 4 159]

Hello, Dinka! We're all glad to see you again and we're sure our work will be more interesting with you. Send your interesting tasks to us!

 

Your answers are correct. "A crow sits in a wet tree."

"...use sterilization tablets."

I couln't fold a sheet of paper A4 more than 7 times. And what about you?

Nobody can!

 

Molly Malone: Your dialogue is excellent!

And what are your favourite quotations, Lady LG, Samira, Victorian, Serdar and others?

That's a good question. I'll answer it one of these days.

 

Do You Understand the Opposite Sex? Answers:

 

1. FALSE. New studies show that men are more romantic than women.

2. FALSE. Men tend to fall in love faster than women.

3. FAlSE. Men suffer more from a breakup than women.

4. FALSE. Men and women differ little in how much they are willing to reveal about themselves. They do differ, however, in the kinds of things they say. Men are more willing to reveal their strong points. Women tend to disclose their weakness, their fears and their feelings about the others.

5. FALSE. Men tend to fall out of love more slowly than women.

6. TRUE. Women suffer from depression more often than men.

7. FALSE. The suicide rate is higher among men than women.

8. FALSE. Shyness is found equally among men and women.

9. FALSE. There're very few differences between men and women in how often and where they daydream.

10. FALSE.

(Based on Personality Tests by S.V. Didato)

 

Самира knows men best of all!

[Molly Malone 4 452]

Самира knows men best of all! tongue.gif

 

Strangely enough i thought so too

If i didn't know she is a woman i would think she is a man

Изменено 27 июня, 2011 пользователем Molly Malone

[Lady LG 4 159]

One more Yes, No or I don't know test:

 

HOW SUPERSTITIOUS ARE YOU? Do you believe in good luck or bad luck?

 

superstitious - суеверный

palmistry - хиромантия

 

1. Do you believe it's bad luck if a black cat croses your path?

2. Have you got a lucky number?

3. Do you believe in ghosts?

4. Do you often read your horoscope?

5. Do you believe it's bad luck to break a mirror?

6. Do you believe in palmistry?

7. Do you believe it's bad luck to open an umbrella in the house?

8. Is there a day of the week which is lucky or unlucky for you?

9. Have you ever made a wish on a New Year's Day?

10. Have you got a talisman or a lucky object?

11. Have you ever changed your plans because of a bad dream?

12. Do you believe that Friday 13th is the unluckiest day of all?

 

Your score: for every NO - 0; for every YES - 2; for every I DON'T KNOW - 1

 

See you!

[Lady LG 4 159]

Some more tasks for fun and profit:

 

1. Let's translate the sentence from English into Russian. Then I'll give you an electronic translation and we'll have fun together.

 

"A street hustler came walking up to me one day while I was walking down the street minding my own business."

 

2. A puzzle: "Sherlock Holmes was questioning three men who had been witnesses to a murder: Mr Franks, Mr Richards and Mr Andrews. It was a funny thing but their first names were Richard, Frank and Andrew too. Holmes remarked to Mr Richards on this.

"Yes, I noticed that as well," he replied. "But none of us have the first name that matches our surname. My first name is Andrew."

Can you give the full name of all three witnesses?

 

3. Misprint 21. The text below contains a mistake where one letter in a word is missed. For example, if the word should be BOX it is printed as OX.

 

"Police are looking for a man who attacked a young girl in the city zoo. The police now have a photofit of the man. He is in his 30s, tall, with blond hair and a brown bear. He was wearing a blue and white jacket at the time of the attack."

 

4. One more riddle: "What is grey, has four legs and a trunk?" (It's not an elephant)

 

5. The story "Natasha from Russia."

 

Good luck and have fun!

 

PS Dear friends, send your interesting tasks, please!

[Molly Malone 4 452]

What is grey, has four legs and a trunk?"

 

I know the answer! But i won't tell you

[Serdar 2]

3. Misprint 21. The text below contains a mistake where one letter in a word is missed. For example, if the word should be BOX it is printed as OX.

 

"Police are looking for a man who attacked a young girl in the city zoo. The police now have a photofit of the man. He is in his 30s, tall, with blond hair and a brown bear. He was wearing a blue and white jacket at the time of the attack."

In this way there is no 'brown bear', but probably there is 'brown beard'.

[Lady LG 4 159]

Serdar:

In this way there is no 'brown bear', but probably there is 'brown beard'

Not probably but exactly!

[Serdar 2]

Some more tasks for fun and profit:

 

1. Let's translate the sentence from English into Russian. Then I'll give you an electronic translation and we'll have fun together.

 

"A street hustler came walking up to me one day while I was walking down the street minding my own business."

Один уличный делец подошел ко мне прогулочной походкой, пока я гулял вниз по улице, присматривая за своим магазинчиком.

[Serdar 2]

And what are your favourite quotations, Lady LG, Samira, Victorian, Serdar and others?

My lovely quotations (sorry for Latin): 'Non multa, sed multum'; 'Quod licet Iovi, non licet bovi'.

I've never thought yet about English qoutations. But I will be improved.

Изменено 28 июня, 2011 пользователем Serdar