English Club

[Lady LG 4 159]

Dear ladies: Самира, Molly, gimini, Dinka! I have an idea. While our gentlemen are away on holiday and can't hear us , let's organize a little "Ladies' Club" and have fun together. For the next few days we'll discuss men, men in general, neither victorian nor Serdar, of course. We'll write anything we like about men: stories, jokes, anecdotes, proverbs, quotations about men. What do you think of my idea?

(Later they can organize "Men's Club" and discuss women, we don't mind)

 

I'll begin:

Joke:

 

- Have you and your wife ever had any difference of opinion?

- Yes, but she doesn't know it.

 

Proverb: "A hungry man is an angry man"

 

See you!

[Lady LG 4 159]

Molly Malone

 

Can you read my thoughts?

[Самира 26]

Or answer some questions:

 

1. Why do we need men?

2. Describe the man of your dream.

3. What features you hate in men

 

My answers:

 

1,I need a man to carry everything I need

 

2. dark haired without a beer tummy average constitution neitehr drinks nor smoke .Wears shirts and always has the smoothfaced. (like the boys working in bank )

I adore their uniform a white shirt, a black tie, jacket , and black trousers

 

I dream about man - has asked a question and the most important thing has listened that you will answer. Also didn't ask the same question in some hours

oh it seems I wrote a lot of about my dream

 

3.

Lie

Mere words and promises

[Самира 26]

Proverb: "A hungry man is an angry man"

 

 

 

Concerning hunger

[Самира 26]

one more

[Самира 26]

good bye

my hungry husband come home

[Lady LG 4 159]

Or answer some questions:

 

1. Why do we need men?

2. Describe the man of your dream.

3. What features you hate in men

 

1. I need a man to drive me to the country for the weekend. I also need a man to make holes in the walls with a drill. I badly need a man to repair a tap in the kitchen.

 

2. The man of my dream must be reliable. Appearance doesn't matter at all. When I was younger, I had a different opinion.

 

3. I hate liars, cowards and misers. But most of all I hate "chulos" (исп. альфонс)

(I haven't found the English word in the dictionary. I guess there're no "chulos" among Englishmen)

Изменено 21 июля, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[Lady LG 4 159]

One more story from our "Ladies' Club":

 

Mr Sting complained to his friend about the discord in the family. His friend sympathized with him and shared the secret of his happy married life.

 

"My wife makes all the small decisions," he explained, "and I make all the important once, so we never interfere with each other's business and never get annoyed with each other. We have no complaints and no arguments."

 

"That sounds reasonable," answered Mr Sting. "And what sort of decisions does your wife make?"

 

"Well," replied his friend, "she decides what jobs I apply for, what kind of house we live in, what furniture we have, where we go for our holidays and things like that."

 

Mr Sting was surprised. "Oh," he said. "What do you call important decisions then?"

 

"Well," answered his friend, "I decide who should be Prime Minister, whether we should increase our help to poor countries, what we should do about the atom bomb and things like that."

 

discord - разлад (в семье)

interfere - вмешиваться

[gimini 20 327]

Hello

 

I was in Piter, met friends and relatives and come back satisfied like an elephant .

 

 

 

I'm transmitting luggage from one bag to another and go away again

 

1. An elderly district militia officer lives in a village. He is respected by everybody. He doesn't allow his daughter to wear a mini-skirt. (Hint: it's an old, funny, black-and-white Soviet film)

 

Village detective or Sheriff  of village (Aniskin)

 

2. A country woman arrives in Moscow. She meets a taxi-driver and sings a beautiful song for him. The woman likes the driver but she's honest and doesn't want to cheat on her husband. Her husband is rude and greedy. (Hint: there are 3 trees in the name of the film)

 

Three poplars on the Pluschiha?

 

1. Why do we need men? 2. Describe the man of your dream. 3. What features you hate in men

1. A man is my defence and support.

2. Сlever, but not bore, with sense of humour

3. I hate egotistic fool

Изменено 21 июля, 2011 пользователем gimini

[Molly Malone 4 452]

gimini,

 

you travel a lot!

where are you going this time?

[gimini 20 327]

gimini,

 

you travel a lot!

where are you going this time?

Tomorrow we go to Anapa, if to be exact, in Blagoveshchenskaya

If I'll put luggage finally

[Lady LG 4 159]

gimini

1. An elderly district militia officer lives in a village. He is respected by everybody. He doesn't allow his daughter to wear a mini-skirt. (Hint: it's an old, funny, black-and-white Soviet film)

Village detective or Sheriffof village (Aniskin)

2. A country woman arrives in Moscow. She meets a taxi-driver and sings a beautiful song for him. The woman likes the driver but she's honest and doesn't want to cheat on her husband. Her husband is rude and greedy. (Hint: there are 3 trees in the name of the film)

Three poplars on the Pluschiha?

You're a very smart lady and get two big virtual chocolates as a prize!

Tomorrow we go to Anapa

Good-bye, gimini! Have a nice holiday and don't lie in the sun for a very long time! See you!

[Lady LG 4 159]

Why do we need men?

 

(addition) I need a strong man to carry a huge water-melon.

I need a man to repair the socket.

In winter I need a man to beat the carpets in the snow.

 

As you see, I need a man for many purposes.

 

Saying: "A man is as old as he feels and a woman as old as she looks."

Изменено 21 июля, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[Самира 26]

gimini

 

luggage it is a trifle the main thing ahead and rest is the main thing!

have a rest for me too

 

Have a good trip!

[Lady LG 4 159]

Two more jokes:

 

The old professor and his wife were sitting one night in front of their fire both deep

in memories. Suddenly the bell rang.

“Good gracious,” whispered the wife, “there’s my husband,” and rose to open the door.

“Damn him!” exclaimed the professor and jumped out of the window.

 

"Damn him!" - "Черт бы его побрал!"

***********************************************************************

 

– My wife has the worst memory I’ve ever heard of.

- Forgets everything, eh?

- No, remembers everything.

Изменено 21 июля, 2011 пользователем Lady LG