English Club

[Molly Malone 4 452]

The old believe everything; the middle-aged suspect everything; the young know everything.

 

Oh god, i guess i am already middle-aged according to my beloved Wilde! Blast...

 

[Lady LG 4 159]

Molly Malone

Never mind! But I know everything.

 

Serdar

It's not only your favourite song! It's also mine!

 

See you tomorrow!

[Molly Malone 4 452]

"What did you say?" roared Jack. "There're no toilets in America and there will be no toilets in my school!" Iren could hardly believe her ears. "What do you mean? And where do they ..... Where do Americans .. er ..?" "There're "Rest Rooms" for ladies and gentlemen, no toilets at all!" "But I'm not going to have a rest," she whispered. "Where can I ...hm, er..." The students giggled and the poor girl was about to cry. Molly Malone, who was present at the lesson sitting at the last desk felt sorry for her. She shot a disapproving glance at Jack and came up to Iren.  Мини профильPM

 

- Do you see that man, Iren? Come here, Mr Jack Daniels! This little girl’s skirt is wet. I want you to go shopping with her and buy her a new skirt…

- I want a short denim skirt like yours, headmaster… Can I also have new ear-rings like yours?

- Sure. Jack will buy you everything with his credit card.

- And shoes!

- But… Missis Malone…you are being cruel – Jack tried to protest.

The headmaster looked at him, smiled and whispered:

- Miss. I am Miss Malone, Jack.

- Oh…I…You… I’ll buy Iren all that she wants.

- Good boy. And a hot dog for me please, I am starving.

[Serdar 2]

small riddle for everybody:

 

What is the string after the end text (better 4 strings)?

 

....

Then I was young and unafraid

And dreams were made and used and wasted

There was no ransom to be paid

No song unsung

No wine untasted

....

 

small hint:

[Molly Malone 4 452]

And one more joke from me as at this very moment my internet seems to be in hilarious spirits:

 

- Waiter, this fish is bad!

- (hitting the fish) You bad, naughty, naughty fish!

 

 

[Molly Malone 4 452]

small riddle for everybody:

 

What is the string after the end text (better 4 strings)?

 

.... Then I was young and unafraid And dreams were made and used and wasted There was no ransom to be paid No song unsung No wine untasted ....

 

No man bitten by a shark?

 

Or "Live and let die"?

 

The first words remind me of a song i once heard

Изменено 1 июля, 2011 пользователем Molly Malone

[Lady LG 4 159]

Molly Malone

Does anyone here listen to Queen, Pink Floyd, Depeche Mode or Muse?

Sorry, Molly, I'm afraid I don't like Depeche Mode or Muse.

 

Serdar

Thank you for the clip. I think it's just the case when we can't appreciate the singer without watching.

This woman looks like an ordinary Russian housewife walking home from the market on a hot summer day with three bags full of food and toilet paper.

But "Appearances are deceptive," says the proverb.

 

Susan Boyle is really terrific!

[victorian 8 436]

- Do you see that man, Iren? Come here, Mr Jack Daniels! This little girl’s skirt is wet. I want you to go shopping with her and buy her a new skirt…

- I want a short denim skirt like yours, headmaster… Can I also have new ear-rings like yours?

- Sure. Jack will buy you everything with his credit card.

- And shoes!

- But… Missis Malone…you are being cruel – Jack tried to protest.

The headmaster looked at him, smiled and whispered:

- Miss. I am Miss Malone, Jack.

- Oh…I…You… I’ll buy Iren all that she wants.

- Good boy. And a hot dog for me please, I am starving.

 

 

Jack - Hello my Headmaster! How are you here?

Molly - I`m fine, but where have you been? For two weeks!

Jack - Well I`ve bought everything for Iren and then she complained she had problems with her health so I took her to Canarian Islands for special cure-course: swimming, sunbathing, massage and so on. We must take care of our students, you know.

I`m sure you approve me, don`t you Molly-Dolly?

Изменено 1 июля, 2011 пользователем victorian

[Lady LG 4 159]

Let's sum up. There're 9 tasks for fun and profit:

 

1. A puzzle: "Sherlock Holmes was questioning three men who had been witnesses to a murder: Mr Franks, Mr Richards and Mr Andrews. It was a funny thing but their first names were Richard, Frank and Andrew too. Holmes remarked to Mr Richards on this. "Yes, I noticed that as well," he replied. "But none of us have the first name that matches our surname. My first name is Andrew." Can you give the full name of all three witnesses?" (It's easy!)

 

2. A new riddle: "What question cannot be answered with "No?"

 

3. Misprint 22. The text below contains a mistake where one letter in a word is wrong. For example, if the word should be CAT it is printed as CAB.

 

SEARCH ABANDONED Police at Peebles yesterday called off a search for a 20-year-old woman who is believed to have frowned after falling into the swollen River Tweed. Belinda Ludbock had been receiving treatment for depression.

 

4. Guess the last word: "The English have no national ................................. "

 

5. Quotations.

 

6. Proverbs.

 

7. Songs.

 

8. The story "Natasha from Russia."

 

9. Serdar's task (see 01.07. 18.28)

 

Have a nice weekend, everybody! Good night!

Изменено 1 июля, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[Molly Malone 4 452]

Guess the last word: "The English have no national ................................. "

 

Maybe Clothes?

 

The usual joke from me:

 

Daniel finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. She accepts. So, Daniel tells his mum. “You’ve got to meet her,” he says. However, he wants to make a bit of game out of it. So, he tells his mum that he’ll bring the girl over with two other women. His mum has to guess which one he wants to marry. So, the next day, Daniel shows up at his mum’s house with three beautiful women. They all sit down on the coach, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other. At the end of the evening, Daniel asks, “OK, mum which one is the woman I want to marry?”

And without any hesitation, she replies, “The one in the middle.”

Daniel is astounded. “How did you know that?”

“Easy, “ she says. “I don’t like her.”

 

[Molly Malone 4 452]

. A new riddle: "What question cannot be answered with "No?"

 

I know it. The question is:

 

Is Molly a pretty girl?

[Lady LG 4 159]

Molly Malone

Guess the last word: "The English have no national ................................. "

 

Maybe clothes?

 

Yes, your answer is right! It's strange but the English have no national CLOTHES!

 

A new riddle: "What question cannot be answered with "No?"

 

I know it. The question is: Is Molly a pretty girl?

No doubt, Molly! It's ONE of the answers. I'd like to hear the other.

 

I like your jokes. One more from me:

 

- Doctor, Doctor, I always have a pain in my eye when I drink coffee.

- Have you tried to take your spoon out?

 

So long, see you!

Изменено 2 июля, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[Lady LG 4 159]

"What did you say?" roared Jack. "There're no toilets in America and there will be no toilets in my school!" Iren could hardly believe her ears. "What do you mean? And where do they ..... Where do Americans .. er ..?" "There're "Rest Rooms" for ladies and gentlemen, no toilets at all!" "But I'm not going to have a rest," she whispered. "Where can I ...hm, er..." The students giggled and the poor girl was about to cry. Molly Malone, who was present at the lesson sitting at the last desk felt sorry for her. She shot a disapproving glance at Jack and came up to Iren.

 

- Do you see that man, Iren? Come here, Mr Jack Daniels! This little girl’s skirt is wet. I want you to go shopping with her and buy her a new skirt… - I want a short denim skirt like yours, headmaster… Can I also have new ear-rings like yours? - Sure. Jack will buy you everything with his credit card. - And shoes! - But… Missis Malone…you are being cruel – Jack tried to protest. The headmaster looked at him, smiled and whispered: - Miss. I am Miss Malone, Jack. - Oh…I…You… I’ll buy Iren all that she wants. - Good boy. And a hot dog for me please, I am starving.

 

Jack - Hello my Headmaster! How are you here?

Molly - I`m fine, but where have you been? For two weeks! Jack

- Well I`ve bought everything for Iren and then she complained she had problems with her health so I took her to Canarian Islands for special cure-course: swimming, sunbathing, massage and so on. We must take care of our students, you know. I`m sure you approve me, don`t you Molly-Dolly?

- You can do anything you like, Mr Daniels. I don't mind. But you forgot about your school. I worked hard for two weeks teaching students while you were on holiday and I took all the money they had paid for their lessons. It's fair, isn't it?

And whom did you call Molly-Dolly? I'm not one of your girlfriends! My name is Miss Malone. Write it down on a sheet of paper and learn by heart.

Изменено 2 июля, 2011 пользователем Lady LG

[Serdar 2]

2. A new riddle: "What question cannot be answered with "No?"

Situation in classroom.

Teacher: 'The pupil Petrov, do you deserve estimation 'A'?

Petrov: 'No?'

 

Correspondence of estimates between English and Russian schools.

A->5;

B->4;

C->3;

D->2;

E->1.

[Lady LG 4 159]

Yes, Sedar, you're right. English pupils' marks differ from ours. They get A, B, C, D, E, and even F.

In some schools English students get marks from 1 up to 10 or from 1 to 100! :!:

Изменено 2 июля, 2011 пользователем Lady LG