Molly Malone

Oh god...It just occured to me (while i was digging) that the preposition after the verb Congratulate is ON!! I think I dig too much...

Danke, Serdar Have you ever been to China?

He must have retired at once

Oh, the same date as Arthur Rimbaud's birthday, he is my favourite French poet. Libra

I like this one: A lady goes to her priest and says,”Father, I have a problem. I have two female talking parrots, but they only know how to say one thing.” “What do they say?” the priest asks. “They say, ‘Hi there, big boy. Want to have some fun?’” “That’s terrible,” the priest says, “but I have a solution to your problem. Bring your two female parrots over to my house. I will put them with my two male talking parrots, who are very religious. I personally taught them how to pray and use a bible. They will stop your parrots from speaking like that; and afterwards, your female parrots will learn how to pray.” “Oh, thank you!” the woman responds. So, the next day, the woman brings her female parrots to the priest’s house. At that moment the two male parrots are praying in their cage. Without saying a word, the lady puts her two female parrots in with the male parrots. Of course, the first thing they say is, “Hi there, big boy. Want to have some fun?” At the sound of the female parrot voices, one male parrot looks up and says, “Quick! Put the beads (четки) away. Our prayers have been answered!”

I suggest that we write the dates of our birth. We could congratulate each other to birthdays Mine is on the 31 of December

Thanks god i didn't forget to put my skirt on

A man suspected his wife of seeing another man. So, he hired a famous Chinese detective, Ram Pam Sim Wimm, to watch and report any activities that might develop. A few days later, he received this report: Most honorable sir: You leave house. He come house. I watch. He and she leave house. I follow. He and she get on train. I follow. He and she go in hotel. I climb tree-look in window. He kiss she. She kiss he. He strip she. She strip he. He play with she. She play with he. I play with me. Fall out of tree, not see. No Fee.

Ich bin intrigued

It's a pity I can't watch it now, my internet is too slow. Somebody tell me, is this strip-tease?

- On the other hand, if she sees the tatoo on my butt, she will get mad...She will steal into my room at night and make a tatoo on my forehead... At this moment the phone rang. It was Natasha.

She works in a tent selling kvas - She is in the refreshment business. Their son is a phycho - Their son has some mental disabilities. I need to go to the toilet - I need to powder my nose

And then poor Jack went to a salon and made a tatoo on his shoulder: "Molly-Dolly" "She will kill me", he thought. One more quotation from Oscar Wilde, The Devoted Friend (it's a dialogue): "Let me tell you the story on the subject," said the Linnet. "Is the story about me?" asked the Water-rat. "If so, I will listen to it, for I am extremely fond of fiction."

I've just come across a very interesting artcicle. Euphemisms Basically, a euphemism is a substitute word – a polite word or expression that people use when they are talking about something which other people may find unpleasant, upsetting or embarrassing. In other cases, euphemisms can be used to make something sound better than it really is. When we use euphemisms, we are protecting ourselves or others from reality. As you can imagine, many euphemisms refer to sex, bodily functions, war and death. In politics, euphemisms are often used to hide the truth, or to make something bad not appear as bad as it really is. Here are a few examples. The first sentence of each pair is the euphemistic way of saying it; and the second sentence is the more literal translation: - She passed away last night. = She died last night. - I need to spend a penny. = I need to go to the toilet. - I am a pedagogical instructor. = I am a teacher. (I do not agree because being a teacher is a great honour, why use a euphemism) - The prisoner was given a lethal injection. = The prisoner was executed with poison. - She is a transparent-wall maintenance officer. = She is a window cleaner. - He decided to come out. = He decided to admit to being homosexual. - He works for a waste recycling company. = He is a rubbish collector. Why don't we compose some euphemisms to these: - Their son is a psycho. - She works in a tent selling kvas. - Hello, Johanna…Oh, you have become so fat! - I need to go to the toilet.

Just wanted to write it myself, but in this way: Whom did you call Molly Dolly?! I wonder where Natasha is. Has Miss Malone locked her in the attic?

I know it. The question is: Is Molly a pretty girl?

Maybe Clothes? The usual joke from me: Daniel finds the woman of his dreams and asks her to marry him. She accepts. So, Daniel tells his mum. “You’ve got to meet her,” he says. However, he wants to make a bit of game out of it. So, he tells his mum that he’ll bring the girl over with two other women. His mum has to guess which one he wants to marry. So, the next day, Daniel shows up at his mum’s house with three beautiful women. They all sit down on the coach, and everyone has a wonderful evening talking and getting to know each other. At the end of the evening, Daniel asks, “OK, mum which one is the woman I want to marry?” And without any hesitation, she replies, “The one in the middle.” Daniel is astounded. “How did you know that?” “Easy, “ she says. “I don’t like her.”

Их двое, мама и папа, судя по всему С крылечка наблюдала, как они на поверхности плавали и, по-моему, даже целовались. Так романтично! Не дай бог их детки такими же вырастут, если их птички не сожрут. Птички меня не боятся, весь день у них там тусовка. Эти жуки, наверное, очень вкусные. Может, и мне на суп наловить...

No man bitten by a shark? Or "Live and let die"? The first words remind me of a song i once heard

And one more joke from me as at this very moment my internet seems to be in hilarious spirits: - Waiter, this fish is bad! - (hitting the fish) You bad, naughty, naughty fish!

- Do you see that man, Iren? Come here, Mr Jack Daniels! This little girl’s skirt is wet. I want you to go shopping with her and buy her a new skirt… - I want a short denim skirt like yours, headmaster… Can I also have new ear-rings like yours? - Sure. Jack will buy you everything with his credit card. - And shoes! - But… Missis Malone…you are being cruel – Jack tried to protest. The headmaster looked at him, smiled and whispered: - Miss. I am Miss Malone, Jack. - Oh…I…You… I’ll buy Iren all that she wants. - Good boy. And a hot dog for me please, I am starving.

Oh god, i guess i am already middle-aged according to my beloved Wilde! Blast...

It's a great song, Victorian, but Angie is the best Does anyone here listen to Queen, Pink Floyd, Depeche Mode or Muse? "Is there anybody out there?"

One cool joke from Molly: One day, Little Red Riding Hood is walking through the woods. She’s picking flowers when suddenly she sees the wolf in a bush. “My! What big eyes you have, Mr Wolf!” she says. The surprised wolf jumps up and runs away. A little further into the woods, Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time he’s behind a tree. “My! What big ears you have, Mr Wolf!” says Little Red Riding Hood. And once again the wolf jumps up and runs away. Finally, about ten minutes later, the Little Red Riding Hood sees the wolf again. This time, he is behind a rock. “My! What big teeth you have, Mr Wolf!” says Little Red Riding Hood. At which point the Big Bad Wolf jumps up and screams: “Will you please leave me alone! Can’t you see that I’m trying to go to the toilet?!”

I agree, i wanted to correct myself but my internet failed again. First wrote, than thought. It's a mouse going on holiday