Molly Malone

Perhaps the guests are just too lazy to write It should be something funny

А у меня вот такое чудо выросло (в прошлом году). Два года назад чистила опята и очистки бросила по пенек. На суп хватило Надеюсь, в этом году опять буду с урожаем

Ну вот, викториана уже в ссылку сослали... в Сибирь (pardon my French) Have a nice trip, don't get cold and don't approach bears, they bite.

"Lady Chatterley" is for big girls. Or Маркиз де Сад...for very big girls if you understand what i mean (Don't read it, it's a joke)

A dialogue between two women: - You know, I’ve noticed I am having some problems with speech. Last week I wanted to say “I want a glass of wine”, but instead of that I said “I want a wass of gline”! - I have the same situation. Last week, when my husband and I were having breakfast, I wanted to say “Would you please be so kind to pour me a glass of coffee, darling.” But instead of that I said, “You god damn idiot! You have ruined my whole life!” I agree, it's great

I have just composed a poem for all of you (looking at victorian) Oh, Serdar, you…the serious man. You can speak English, yes, you can. You love the secrets of chinese, The food, the girls, the sun and breeze. Victorian, thou art so clever, Such jokes from thee, that I would never, Would never, never even try, As you are Twins, you’re Gemini. Samira, oriental maid, Sometimes remaining in the shade, As she is happy, she’s the mother And with her children she must bother. Lady LG, you are so kind So nice and perfect; to my mind, Such girls like You do rule the souls, The tigers, cats, and dogs, and moles. And Molly…yes, you are so sweet, The men are falling to your feet. Why don’t you, Molly, drop your axe? “Oh Molly…don’t…oh leave…you, hex!”

Samira must read them in russian. I did, as sometimes i try not to overload my brains Foreigners do read Gogol in translation, so that's no problem

Samira, have you read books about Adrian Mole? They were written by Sue Townsend, a modern English writer. If you haven't, do it immediately, i beseech you. Funny and ironic And one more english writer, Stephen Fry. His pronounciation is considered to be an etalon. I've read his Stars' Tennis Balls 6 times, it's a modern interpretaion of Monte Cristo. It is wonderful. You could have also seen Mr Fry in "Jeeves and Wooster" (it's a film). Recently i have downloaded "Fairy tales by Oscar Wilde" read by Stephen Fry...Ladies and Gentleman, this is music to my ears. Every evening i listen to him at my country house (very loudly), and neighbours already begin to get interested if i have a foreign lover in the house Lady LG, Samira, Victorian, Serdar and others, what are your most most most favourite books?

I agree, he really is. Victorian is the man with real brains...and excellent sense of humour. To my shame, i haven't written a line since i was 24. But when I was younger i translated into russian the whole poem of John Keats "Endymion", 4000 lines of his finest verse, beauty in every line. Now, i prefer cooking and gardening, and it gives me much more pleasure, for i am a woman, not a poet

Sure! There are plenty of them in Pushkino! As many as good bookshops

Да, для декора наверное либо галька, либо гравий. Но все это еще бывает различных фракций, я этим вопросом тоже интересовалась. И забодает меня, гы

A dialogue in a bar: - Are you a logician?! How is that? - Ok, I’ll explain. Do you have an aquarium at home? - Yes… - Then there are certainly fish inside… - Yes… - If you have fish, then I am sure you love animals. - I do… - If you love animals, you must love children as well. - Yes… - If you love children, you must have some. - Yes. - If you have children, you have a wife. - Yes. - If you have a wife, it means that you love women. - Yes… - And if you love women, I can come to the conclusion that you don’t love men. - That’s logical! - If you don’t love men, it means that you are not gay! - Wow! Fantastic! Some time later the logician leaves, and the man’s friend comes. - Hey, I have just met a logician! - Whom? - A logician. I’ll explain. Do you have an aquarium at home? - No… - You homosexual pig!

No, victorian is blond, not Molly. But for him i sound like a blond. I am flattered

Guess the last word: " Queen Elizabeth I was considered very fussy about her personal cleanliness as she bathed once a ............................ " Once a month? Just like me...

Serdar, i liked your China photos. Do you travel a lot?

A usual joke It was about a month ago when a Dutchman in Amsterdam felt that he needed to confess, so he went to his Priest. "Forgive me Father, for I have sinned. During WWll, I hid a Jewish man in my attic." "Well," answered the Priest, "That's no a sin." "But I made him pay me 20 gulden for each week he stayed." "I admit that wasn't good, but you did it for a good cause." "Oh thank you Father; that eases my mind. Father, I have one more question." "What is it son." "Do I have to tell him the war is over?"

Oh...Twins...Gemini...The Headmaster's favourite sign, victorian. What colour is your hair?

Samira, there is a very interesting article above. Specially for you i shall copy it Basically, a euphemism is a substitute word – a polite word or expression that people use when they are talking about something which other people may find unpleasant, upsetting or embarrassing. In other cases, euphemisms can be used to make something sound better than it really is. When we use euphemisms, we are protecting ourselves or others from reality. As you can imagine, many euphemisms refer to sex, bodily functions, war and death. In politics, euphemisms are often used to hide the truth, or to make something bad not appear as bad as it really is. Here are a few examples. The first sentence of each pair is the euphemistic way of saying it; and the second sentence is the more literal translation: - She passed away last night. = She died last night. - I need to spend a penny. = I need to go to the toilet. - I am a pedagogical instructor. = I am a teacher. (I do not agree because being a teacher is a great honour, why use a euphemism) - The prisoner was given a lethal injection. = The prisoner was executed with poison. - She is a transparent-wall maintenance officer. = She is a window cleaner. - He decided to come out. = He decided to admit to being homosexual. - He works for a waste recycling company. = He is a rubbish collector. So, we are composing euphemisms

A puzzle: "Sherlock Holmes was questioning three men who had been witnesses to a murder: Mr Franks, Mr Richards and Mr Andrews. It was a funny thing but their first names were Richard, Frank and Andrew too. Holmes remarked to Mr Richards on this. "Yes, I noticed that as well," he replied. "But none of us have the first name that matches our surname. My first name is Andrew." Can you give the full name of all three witnesses?" (It's easy!) Andrew Richards, Frank Andrews, Richard Franks?

Euphemism: She is (pardon) a prostitute. – She is an FBI agent (Female Body Incorporated)

As for me, in all my photos i am either too undressed, or too beautiful, don't want to dazzle boys By the way, Samira, your photo is very nice

Euphemisms: I want to spend the night with you and make love. – How about a glass of wine? He delivers pizza. He Works as an ICC. (Italiano Cuisine Courier)

Thank you, Lady LG, you are an angel And some euphemisms to these: -He collects empty beer bottles to earn his living. - She is (pardon) a prostitute.

О да! Пионы - мои самые любимые цветы. Понюхайте, девочки, мои пионы. Бутонов не очень много, но, когда я только занялась садом (6 лет назад), цветов не было вообще. Стала за ними ухаживать, и они в благодарность каждый год дают все больше и больше цветов. Для того, чтобы им было хорошо, спилила три старые яблони, которые давали тень