English Club

[Papa 119]

ОК, next quiz

 

How Smart Are You?

 

QUESTIONS

1. Do they have a 4th of July in England?

2. How many birthdays does the average man have?

3. Some months have 31 days; how many have 28?

4. A woman gives a beggar 50 cents; the woman is the beggar's sister, but the beggar is not the woman's brother. How come?

5. Why can't a man living in the USA be buried in Canada?

6. How many outs are there in an inning?

7. Is it legal for a man in California to marry his widow's sister? Why?

8. Two men play five games of checkers. Each man wins the same number of games. There are no ties. Explain this.

9. Divide 30 by 1/2 and add 10. What is the answer?

10. A man builds a house rectangular in shape. All sides have southern exposure. A big bear walks by, what color is the bear? Why?

11. If there are 3 apples and you take away 2, how many do you have?

12. I have two US coins totaling 55 cents. One is not a nickel. What are the coins? 13. If you have only one match and you walked into a room where there was an oil burner, a kerosene lamp, and a wood burning stove, which one would you light first?

14. How far can a dog run into the woods?

15. A doctor gives you three pills telling you to take one every half hour. How long would the pills last?

16. A farmer has 17 sheep, and all but 9 die. How many are left?

17. How many animals of each sex did Moses take on the ark?

18. A clerk in the butcher shop is 5' 10'' tall. What does he weigh?

19. How many two cent stamps are there in a dozen?

20. What was the President's name in 1950?

 

Answers

1. Yes 2. One 3. All of them (12) 4. The beggar is her sister. 5. He can't be buried if he isn't dead. 6. 6 7. No - because he is dead. 8. They aren't playing each other. 9. 70 10. White. The house is at the North Pole so it is a polar bear. 11. 2 12. 50 cent piece and a nickel. (The other one is a nickel) 13. The match. 14. Half way. Then he is running out of the woods. 15. 1 Hour 16. 9 17. None - Noah took them on the ark. 18. Meat 19. 12 20. Same as it is now.

 

How Smart Are You?

20 Correct - Genius

17 Correct - Above Normal

15 Correct - Normal

8 Correct - Nincompoop

6 Correct - Moron

3 Correct - Idiot

[skywalker 136]

я думаю, что Далекая Луна имела в виду слово "веселее" (степени сравнения прилагательных) Хотя, если честно, впервые встречаю в такой интерпретации

Слово "gay" и его производные перестали использоваться (в его первоначальном смысле) с тех пор, как у него появилось новое значение.

Anyway, people, it's really great you go for this subject (I mean English). Cheers!

[skywalker 136]

And here's some more for you all

Первый урок, английский для начинающих::

"Три ведьмы разглядывают трое часов "Свотч". Какая из ведьм разглядывает какие часы?"

 

Теперь по английски!:

"Three witches watch three swatch watches. Which witch watches which swatch watch?"

 

Второй урок, английский для продвинутых учеников:

"Три ведьмы-трансвеститки разглядывают три кнопочки на часах "Свотч". Какая из ведьм-трансвеститок разглядывает какую кнопочку на часах "Свотч"?"

 

Теперь по английски!:

"Three switched witches watch three Swatch watch switches. Which switched witch watches which Swatch watch switch?"

 

Третий и последний урок, английский для абсолютных профессионалов:

"Три швейцарских ведьмы-сучки, желающих изменить свой пол, разглядывают три кнопочки на часах "Свотч". Какая из швейцарских ведьм-сучек, желающих изменить свой пол,разглядывает какую кнопочку на часах "Свотч"?"

 

Теперь по английски!:

"Three swiss witch-bitches, which wished to be switched swiss witch-bitches, watch three swiss Swatch watch switches. Which swiss witch-bitch, which wishes to be a switched swiss witch-bitch, wishes to watch which swiss Swatch switch?"

 

Enjoy yourselves, now.

[maha 1]

а можно и так:

 

she sells sea shells at the see shore.

The shells she sells are sea shore shells.

 

Произносить надо быстро!

[skywalker 136]

а можно и так:

 

she sells sea shells at the see shore.

The shells she sells are sea shore shells.

Произносить надо быстро!

2 MAHA :

там в конце ещё было: I'm sure

[skywalker 136]

But..... you need more practice.You should go abroad, talk to foreigngers . To speak English - is TO SPEAK English.

Well..I am abroad.Do you want to see a couple examples how do people speak here?

There you go:

Муж жене:" Маша! Донт форгет прочекать ,штоб чилдринята шузы напутонили."

В магазине..." Вам чиз наслайсать писиками?Или тейкните холом?

2 Matawasha : Брайтон Бич рулит !

[victorian 8 435]

It`s known one of ways to learn and to keep language in memery is reading origin literature, so when I have chance I try to read some interesting american or british books. Some of them I get in American Center that`s located in Library of foreign literature near metro Китай город.

And it would be interesting to know what kind of book do you prefer?

Who is your favourite author?

Where do you get origin books?

[wasa007 0]

Кто нибудь изучал английский по методике Николая Замяткина.

Я уже треть неделю занимаюсь, результаты просто супер.

Советую всем прочитать его книгу.

Качать отсюда: www.langmatrix.com

[Lynx 0]

Кто нибудь изучал английский по методике Николая Замяткина.

Я уже треть неделю занимаюсь, результаты просто супер.

Советую всем прочитать его книгу.

Качать отсюда: www.langmatrix.com

англицкий по книшке, как любофь по переписке

[Papa 119]

типичные ошибки в английском.

с картинками.

очень хорошо запоминаются.

English.doc

[BiR 87]

Кому интересно. Рассказ Джеймса Олдриджа "Последний дюйм" на английском языке.

 

Кого заинтересует, то могу выложить фактически продолжение этой истории (хотя это по сути своей другое произведение) с участием главных героев под названием "The Shark Cage" на языке оригинала.

The_Last_Inch.pdf

[Fiyalka 280]

А читаю,перевожу и лялякаю ,но писать умею с граматикой и оборотами траблы((

[victorian 8 435]

Fiyalka

If you want to improve your writing and grammar skills there is only one way - you have to write as much as possible in english. At the same time it`s quite boring to do only lessons from textbooks so I would like to advice you to start correspondence with english speaking penpals. There are a lot of special english sites in internet. The main point you must correct your grammar mistakes and try not to do them again. I am sure in 3-4 months everything will be allright. Good luck!

[maha 1]

and try don`t do them again

 

может быть, "try not to do them again"

[victorian 8 435]

Never mind! It`s my way of writing english (I prefer american variant). The main point is sense. Do you egree?