victorian

Lady LG I try, thank you very much

A blonde (like Molly by the way ) phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. - "They`ve stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the acceleration!", she cried out. However before the police investigation could start the phone rang again and the same voice came over the line, - " Sorry, I got in the back seat by mistake".

A man was in a bar. Hoping to strike up a conversation with a distinguished looking fellow sitting nearby, he said, - "May I buy you a drink?" - "No", said the man cooly, "Don`t drink. Tried it once and didn`t like it." - "Would you like a cigar?" - " No. Don`t smoke. Tried tobacco once and didn`t like it" - "Would you like to join me in a card game?" - "No. Don`t like card games. Tried it once and didn`t like it. But perhaps my son will join you". The first man settled back in his chair and said, - "Your only son, I presume?".

I`m blond Some anecdotes: A grade school teacher was asking students what their parents did for living. - "Tim, what does your mother do? - She`s a doctor - That`s wonderful. How about you Amie? - My father is a mailman - Thank you Amie. What about your father, Billy? Billy proudly stood and announced, - My daddy plays piano in a whorehause. Teacher promtly changed the subject. Later she went to Billy`s house. The teacher explained Billy`s father what his son said and demanded an explanation. Billy`s father said, - I`m actually an attorney. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?

Well I was born on the 24th of May (Twins)

No no, absolutely! It`s kind of mystery dance.

Molly`s dance. I try again this link

Jack - Ladies and gentlemen! It`s anniversary of our school today - 3 weeks, so we`ve prepared a conсert for you. Well let me present my song for you: Thank you for your applause. Well and now I`d like to invite here my girlfriend Natasha!

It`s great idea but where can I do it? Natash musn`t see it. On my chest? No. On my shoulder or hand? No... Eureka! I`ll do this tatoo on my butt and Natash will never see it but dear Headmaster will

Hello, Johanna…Oh, you look like a pink cloud in the blue sky. - I need to go to the toilet. I`d like to go to read last political news. - Their son is a psycho. - Their son pays all taxes.

- Do you see that man, Iren? Come here, Mr Jack Daniels! This little girl’s skirt is wet. I want you to go shopping with her and buy her a new skirt… - I want a short denim skirt like yours, headmaster… Can I also have new ear-rings like yours? - Sure. Jack will buy you everything with his credit card. - And shoes! - But… Missis Malone…you are being cruel – Jack tried to protest. The headmaster looked at him, smiled and whispered: - Miss. I am Miss Malone, Jack. - Oh…I…You… I’ll buy Iren all that she wants. - Good boy. And a hot dog for me please, I am starving. Jack - Hello my Headmaster! How are you here? Molly - I`m fine, but where have you been? For two weeks! Jack - Well I`ve bought everything for Iren and then she complained she had problems with her health so I took her to Canarian Islands for special cure-course: swimming, sunbathing, massage and so on. We must take care of our students, you know. I`m sure you approve me, don`t you Molly-Dolly?

And this is one of my favourite song - The Rolling Stones - "Anybody Seen My Baby" It`s quite philosophical thing. She confessed her love to me Then she vanished on the breeze Trying to hold on to that was just impossible She was more than beautiful Closer to ethereal With a kind of down to earth flavor Close my eyes, it's three in the afternoon Then I, I realize that she's really gone for good Anybody seen my baby Anybody seen her around Love has gone and made me blind I've looked but I just can't find She has gotten lost in the crowd http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ElOXKt0v7-A

Talk with Angel

I know what kind of business you mean! – Natasha yelled. – If only you dare! Jack sighed. He was already getting tired of Natasha. The first day at school. Imagine a novel of Dickens, David Copperfield or Nikolas Nickelby. A dark room. Newborn pupils are sitting there not daring to move. The headmaster enters. - Hello, my dear kittens. (smiling like a Cheshire cat) - Hello, headmaster! (unanimously) - I would like all of you to learn some rules before we start. (lifting her right eyebrow) - Yes, headmaster! - Firstly, you must always do what the teacher tells you or else you’ll never learn. Clear? - Yes! (beginning to get excited) - Secondly, the one who doesn’t learn the new English words will be whipped. (this already sounds like Julia Timoshenko) - Oh yes,headmaster! - Thirdly, the one who won’t bring me his most favourite English quotations tomorrow will be expelled. - Jawohl, Meister! Jack - "And now my lesson: first of all forget about Russian language! Only English, English, English! If I hear one russian word here, you`ll be penalized for 1000$. If you can`t say anything in English, please use your gestures, facial expressions, pictures and so on. In my school I`m your father, Molly is your mother and Barak Obama is your president! Is it clear? Iren, what`s the matter?". - Sir, I wonna......eee...mmm... - What? Home? - No, I wonna.... - Drink? - No! - Eat? - No! - Make love? - No no no!!! I wonna toilet but it`s late....

"A street hustler came walking up to me one day while I was walking down the street minding my own business." Однажды, когда я шел по улице, размышляя о своих делах, ко мне подгреб какой-то уличный ловчила.

" only you... but look, I`m going to business trip soon, to Canary Islands for 1-2 weeks and Molly as a headmaster must accompany me, it`s her responsibility. Do you agree, Molly-Dolly? It`s just business, I assure you" - Jack said

"To tell the truth, honey, I was not the first student in my school, but it doesn`t matter! For example when I read this russian forum I see a lot of terrible mistakes and all users are native speakers, aren`t they?. So don`t worry my darling!". "Oh you are so cute", Natasha babbled. "Well it`s business and I`m going to make it in american way. I know how it is". Soon astonishing things started to happen in Pushkino. Huge billboards were everywhere - " Come to Jack`s school and you will be cool!". All local newspapers were full with this ad. Hundreds boys and girls in bright t-shirts stood in all streets and handed out the special flyers. The huge balloon hung above town and big letters shone in the sky - "Did you join Jack`s school?". Every evening great and noisy conсerts were arranged near Pobeda cinema where Alla Pugacheva, Phil Kirkorov, Nadya Babkina and others singers sang songs about Jack`s school.

Корж какой-то непропеченый. ТщательнЕе бы надо готовить ингридиенты.

Земляку посвящается. Он первым выступил с открытым забралом за наше правое дело. Ты пал за сквер Как Робеспьер! Чужая смуглая рука К земле склонила Земляка.

С Днем рождения!

DSS20 Ну вот а ты впечатли. BRODYAG@ поисковик со стажем, знает что делает.

Molly Malone

- What`s going on? - Well nothing special, we are learning English, it`s a new method, non-verbal, just gestures and moves, you know, - Jack said - Really? I`m not fool for a while. I know this bitch Iren very well, she had a lot of this kind of teachers and she can teach you herself such Russian-kolobashen now and.... - Stop please, I decided to start new business here. It will be new English school, I`ll be boss and you`ll be a receptionist. Well I`m sure all Pushkino will speak in English in one-two years and we`ll be millionaires!

I don`t think they overeat by these tomatoes. То что не могут сьесть они консервируют. (О этот могучий английский язык )