Lady LG

victorian I'm very sorry, I've just seen your anwers. They are both right. I suppose this film is " Love and doves" It`s a genius novel "12 chairs" again (Самка ты, Варвара! Ты - волчица! К Птибурдукову ты уходишь от меня!) For the present moment we have: Guess the book: Guess the film: victorian! This is a virtual prize for you.

Serdar Very good. I'll write the answers a little later. Let the others try. A crime joke from Blondes' Club: A blonde needed money desperately. To raise cash, she decided to kidnap a child and hold him for ransom. She went to the local playground, grabbed a kid, took him behind a building, and said, "I've kidnapped you." Then she wrote a big note saying, "I've kidnapped your kid. Tomorrow morning put $10,000 in a plastic bag and leave it under the apple tree next to the playground. Signed, “A blonde." The blonde then pinned the note to the kid's T-shirt and sent him home to show it to his parents. The next morning she walked to the playground and saw a plastic bag under the apple tree. The blonde looked into the bag and found the $10,000 with a note that said, "How could you do this to a fellow blonde?"

Dear friends! Let's enlarge our vocabulary. The Language of Crime: WHAT DO WE CALL A PERSON WHO….? The words below will help you. 1.steals things from people’s pockets in crowded places 2. betrays his or her country to another state 3.takes away people by force and demands money for their return 4. buys and sells drugs illegally 5. breaks into houses and other buildings to steal 6.takes control of a plane by force and makes the pilot change the course 7. makes false money or signatures 8. gets secret information from another country 9. brings goods into a country illegally without paying tax 10. threatens to tell other people your secrets if you don’t pay him money (forger, blackmailer, burglar, spy, kidnapper, smuggler, pickpocket, traitor, drug dealer, hijacker) Have fun!

And you're quite right! This time you get a virtual bottle of beer with a refreshing taste az a prize. Sorry, but your favourite Ballantine is too expensive to drink every day and besides, it's bad for your health. So you'll get Ballantine only on holidays: your birthday, New Year's Day, February 23rd... Enjoy your beer!

Can you drive, gentlemen? I'm sure you can. Then this sign may prove to be useful for all of you:

victorian

Dear friends, let's finish with it: (everything is very easy!) Guess the film: 1. This detective looks nice and can do analytic work very well. The detective's office is in Petrovka. (Hint: The detective is a platinum blonde. The film is a screen-version of the books by a modern woman writer who is quite popular nowadays) 2. The man in the film can't tie a tie and doesn't like vegetarian food. Hint: he loves doves! Guess the book: 1. "You're a female, Barbara! You're a she-wolf! You're leaving me for another man!" 2. "Come back home, my poor orphans! You're very dirty. I'll wash you with spring water and you'll sparkle like the sun again!" Hint: this is a poem about a woman who hates washing up. Have fun! See you!

Imperturbable Wizard And where is my coffee machine, I wonder? QUOTE: Molly Malone why is it impossible to you to pronounce my nickname? Because she's a natural blonde. It's difficult for me too. May I call you just "Wizard"?

северянка Это не только Ваше мнение. Моя уже 12 лет на натуралке.

Imperturbable Wizard Sorry, the print is too small and I can't see very well. I want the gadget in the first row, in the middle. It's a coffee machine, if I'm not mistaken.

victorian But you didn't say anything about the colour of the applicant's hair. The British Prince is looking for a blonde, I guess... Marriage notice: Extremelly clever and pretty natural blonde wishes to marry strong, sexy, passionate male. Intimacy excluded. Please send photos to personal box.

Imperturbable Wizard Hello, Wizard! Nice to meet you. We haven't had any wizards in our club so far. Most of us are blonds and blondes... I'll make my wish tomorrow. See you!

Serdar This time you deserve your favourite Ballantine!

Come on, friends! Everybody knows this old ugly woman cannibal! She prefers roast human meat. Every Russian child knows her name!

Molly Malone Yes, Molly! It's Kabaniha, a very bad mother-in-law, who made poor Katerina kill herself. I remember Belinskiy too, but I still don't understand one thing about critics: who gives them the right to criticize? To tell the truth, school made me hate most of the books we studied at the lessons.

Serdar By the way, I tried to find the picture of your favourite Ballantine 12 YO but failed. What is it: a sort of wine, whisky or brandy? What country is it from?

Thanks! I've just downloaded a lot of funny notices, signs and pictures like that and I'm going to send them to you from time to time. Here's one more: (for blondes)

Let's have some more laugh:

Let's sum up. For today we have: Guess the film: 1. This detective looks nice and can do analytic work very well. The detective's office is in Petrovka. (Hint: The detective is a platinum blonde. The film is a screen-version of the books by a modern woman writer who is quite popular nowadays) 2. The man in the film can't tie a tie and doesn't like vegetarian food. Guess the book: 1. This is a scary story about a woman-cannibal. 2. Every Russian school-leaver knows this book. The main heroine is often called "a ray of sunshine in the dark empire". 3. "You're a female, Barbara! You're a she-wolf! You're leaving me for another man!" 4. "Come back home, my poor orphans! You're very dirty. I'll wash you with spring water and you'll sparkle like the sun again!" (Dear friends, if I've forgotten anything, add it yourselves. We're going very quickly and it's difficult to see if the task is done or undone) Have fun! Ask questions! See you!

pumochka Пониже, в этом же разделе есть отзывы о TDS. Читали?

Molly Malone I don't mind at all. I'm not greedy. Send your virtual bottle to victorian.

victorian I'm afraid I can't agree with you. I still insist it's "The Raven" by Edgar Poe. But let's wait for the author to answer. The prize will be mine! (Sorry, I didn't see Molly's post: we were writing at the same time)

And now a very scary story for everybody... Mysterious Death It happened in the hospital’s Intensive Care ward where patients always died in the same bed, on Sunday morning at 11 a.m., regardless of the state of their health. This puzzled the doctors and some of them even thought that it was something supernatural. Why death ? So the doctors decided to go down to the “unlucky” ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. On the next Sunday morning a few minutes before 11 a.m. the doctors and nurses were nervously waiting outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was about. Some were holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holly objects to protect themselves from the evil… Just when the clock struck 11…… Santa Singh, a part-time sweeper, entered the ward and unplugged the life support system so that he could use the vacuum cleaner… ward - палата regardless - независимо investigate - исследовать holly - святой unplug – отсоединять

Serdar Molly will be delighted! I've already listened to this song before. It sounds rhythmic and melodic. Can you imagine our dear Molly with a wheelbarrow? (тачка) OK, but let Molly correct the text herself. I'm sure it will give her a lot of pleasure.

Molly Malone If you had told me that the poem had more than seven translations, I would have guessed it long ago. It's "The Raven" by Edgar Allan Poe. ...Quoth the Raven "Nevermore" - И Ворон каркнул...(или гаркнул)