Lady LG

Serdar Is it "Russian Nirvana"? My favourite song by БГ is "The Russian-Abyssinian Song of Usheltsi" (Pусско-абиссинская песня ушельцев") I don't understand what it is about but this song arouses strange and warm feelings in my soul. It's something very beautiful and mysterious. I can't explain it in words.

victorian Oh, if you knew how I adore celebrities! We're all ladies and gentlemen from higher society but there're no celebrities in our club so far! Talk to Слоня, please. I think he will agree to be our "Honorary Chairman" and at the parties he will be a VIP (wedding general). If Слоня isn't very good at English, it doesn't matter. He will have to do nothing except eating and drinking delicious things. You will make a speech and we'll applaud to him.

Слоня Hello, Слоня! I've met you somewhere in the forum but I can't remember where. But if I'm not mistaken, you used to be a very old man with a grey beard. Now you look much better.

Cегодня все сдала в "Семейной поликлинике". с утра. Народу никого. Подороже, чем в Мытищах, но зато рядом. Готово будет завтра.

And let's have fun, ladies and gentlemen. Are you fond of painting?

Yes, he is. Look, ladies! Слоня is so sweet, isn't he?"

victorian I agree with you. One of my favourite proverbs is: "Take the rough with the smooth." Относись к неровному ровно. (Не жди, что всё в жизни будет гладко. Относись философски к возникающим трудностям)

Molly Malone Oh, dear! It's awful! Be more careful in the future and don't step on the rake! Let me give you some more useful advice. Do you sometimes hit your thumb when you use a hammer? To prevent it you should always hold the hammer with both hands. Have a nice weekend, everybody! See you!

One more joke from Blondes' Club: ************************************************************************ One day at the beginning of September Самира came to the school. She looked nice because not long before she had dyed her hair blond. Самира said to the headmaster, “I want my son to learn a foreign language.” “Certainly, madam,” he replied, “Which language do you want him to learn: English, French, Italian, German?” “Which is the most foreign?” the lady wondered. ************************************************************************

In victorian's opinion there're two types of women: A joke from me: The other day the members of our club had a meeting and victorian suggested that we should play a game. He said,"Those who are clever - step right, please, and those who are pretty - step left." Without any hesitation victorian and Serdar jumped right. Самира, gimini and Lady LG smiled and stepped left. But poor Molly Malone didn't move. She was at a loss and had no idea where to go. At last she exclaimed, "Damn him! Am I supposed to tear myself apart???" (Что, мне разорваться что-ли?)

victorian Yes, to our pupils. I have some small kids but not many. Most of my students are old enough. Their age is from 13-14 to 23. They have been learning English for many years and speak it quite well.

A usual joke from Ladies' Club Two young men are talking: Jack - What do you think of clever women, Jim? Jim - Well, I know a lot of clever women and girls. They’re interesting to talk to, they’re hard working, efficient, responsible and reliable in business. But you know, Jack, I would never advise you to choose a clever girl to be your wife. My dear friend, never, never marry a girl who is very clever. Jack - I agree with you, Jim. A good wife should be nice, kind, gentle, good at housework and cooking. She must take care of her husband and children. A good wife doesn’t need much education. Jim - You’re quite right! Marriage is a serious thing. A business lady is good to be seen at the office and not at home. Jack – By the way, Jim, I hear you’re going to marry Jane. What is she like? I’m sure she is pretty and not very clever. Jim – Oh, yes! Jane and I are getting married next month. She is a very nice girl, a real treasure. Jane has just graduated from university and is going to start her own business. She is very intelligent and sensible. Her advice is always reasonable and I often follow it. Jane is the cleverest girl I have ever known. You know, my friend, I’m the happiest man in the world! Jack – Well, Jim, but you contradict your own words! You’ve just advised me not to marry a clever woman! Why are you going to marry Jane? She’s so clever! Jim - But I love her!

Serdar victorian :) That's a very good idea! victorian, you're a real friend! Fortunately Molly and I speak English every day. Sometimes too much..

gimini! If nobody can guess, tell us the answer, please! One more Guess the film: (very easy) - Monkey, would you like a banana? - Well,.... what for? - For no particular reason.

Serdar Yes, of course! "Сокол ты, Орлов!.......... Орел ты, Соколов!"

Dear friends! If you or your children want to know English well, beware of teachers like this:

Molly Malone Of course, I'm ready. I've been working all summer preparing something new and interesting for my students. I always do it in my free time. Fortunately, my notebook has a good memory. Molly is telling the truth. Teachers are always given a lot of chocolates on the 1st of September. Sometimes we have so many boxes that we don't know what to do with them. You see, chocolates can't be kept for a very long time and so we have to give them to our relatives and friends. Molly, I suggest that we have one more contest and count bunches of flowers too.

Molly Malone Many thanks! It really smells fantastic. What kind of flower is it? It doesn't look like a rose and pions aren't in season now as far as I know. See you tomorrow!

Reading for everybody: Balzak as a handwriting expert. Honore de Balzak, the famous French writer, was a very talented man. He was proud of his ability to tell a person’s character by his or her handwriting. He often told his friends that he could tell exactly a person’s character by the person’s handwriting. One day a woman friend came to him and brought an exercise book of a young boy. She said that she wanted to know what Balzak thought of the boy’s character. Balzak studied the handwriting carefully for a few minutes. The woman told him that the boy was not her son or relative and that he could tell her the truth. ‘All right", said Balzak, "I’ll tell you the truth". And he told his friend that he thought that the boy was a bad, lazy fellow, that his mother should watch him because he would be a disgrace to the family. ‘It is very strange', said the woman smiling. "This is a page from your own exercise book, which you wrote when you were a boy.’

Ladies and gentlemen! For today we have some tasks for fun and profit: Guess the film - You are a falcon, Comrade Eagle! - Sorry, but I'm not Comrade Eagle... - And what did I say? You are an eagle, Comrade Falcon! A real eagle! (Hint: this film has already been mentioned) A riddle A woman shoots her husband, then holds him under water for five minutes. Finally, she hangs him. Five minutes later they enjoy a wonderful dinner together. How can this be? (Hint: This method is outdated, it isn't used nowadays) Serdar and victorian! I don't believe that you have never shot anybody. And gimini's photo-riddle. Have fun!

Molly Malone I think I know the name of this film. It's "Evenings at the Khutor near Dikanka" by Gogol. Oksana's words.

gimini Yes, it's "Cheburashka" and the picture belonged to a filmstar. Next time tell me, please what you want to get as a prize. And now enjoy your tea!

victorian Do you understand what pretty Molly means? In fact, "full English breakfast" is a huge meal. First you'll have to bring her cereal and fruit juice, then she wants bacon, eggs, tomatoes, beans, ham, mushrooms, toast and marmalade. After that she wants a cup of coffee or tea usually with milk. Look at the picture, victorian and think hard...

victorian Oh, I see we have a virtual "sweet pair" in our club. How exciting!